The casting director, a Dutch man in his 50s with a large paunch, looked at me, his eyes darting around my body. I was exhausted after 14 hours of castings, and so I did what I was told and removed my undershirt to reveal my rather pallid chest. After a quick glance, the casting director returned to his seat in the adjacent room and muttered to his stylist, "He's beautiful, but he's fat. I felt humiliated. I had walked the catwalk twice at Paris Fashion Week, worked with a range of talented photographers and stylists, and was part of a world filled with staggeringly beautiful people. But this wasn't the first time I had been called overweight, despite my jutting rib cage and hips. At a fitting for a Japanese menswear show in Paris in the summer of , a group of elderly women from the designer's team gathered behind me to laugh and lightly slap my buttocks as the material stretched to cover my rear.
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Sort by: List Order Date Added. Shemar Moore Actor Criminal Minds Shemar Franklin Moore born April 20, is an American actor and former fashion model.
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I posed for a few Polaroids, wrote down my measurements and awaited the decision. The booker-a kind, freckled man in his 30s-looked me up and down as I stood by the window of his fifth-floor studio, whispering to his assistant. In spite of my reservations, I felt a flood of nervous euphoria. I couldn't help but be seduced by the idea that I would be paid mountains of cash to lounge around and have my face splashed across billboards.
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And then I began working, and reality hit: To be a model is to accept that you are a product as well as a person. You are also a target for sexual predators. At first, I was relatively oblivious to the extent of the sexual harassment and abuse in the industry. Serious propositions and sexual advances are often framed as jokes, allowing the powerful figures who make them-photographers, editors and casting directors-to dismiss them as such should they be declined.
In Septemberwhile I was shooting a music video, a fashion consultant in his 60s spent the day making inappropriate comments and asking if what was "down there" was as "intoxicating" as my "handsome face. As he slid past me, he stroked his hand across my lower back and slapped my backside.
A few weeks later, an editor offered to shoot me for the cover of his magazine, with the caveat that I pose naked and join him for a "romantic" dinner that evening. I said I wasn't interested, but he messaged me regularly throughout the year.
His messages became increasingly graphic, including sending me links to porn videos and images of another model whose career he claimed to have launched. In Junea photographer tried to make me commit to orgies while on a shoot, with the promise of getting me "exposure. At times, these powerful men behave with a remarkable sense of impunity: While I was conducting research for this article, one powerful fashion designer, high on cocaine, repeatedly sent me unsolicited naked videos when I attempted to arrange an interview.
In some ways, I got off lightly. Matthew, a British model, signed up with his first agency while he settled into life in Paris a few months later, he joined Elite, the world's leading agency.
He soon found himself in the studio of a photographer who overstepped the mark. He has now quit modeling and is a student living in London. His rationale was that he needed to get me over the phase of being awkward and make me more comfortable in my own body.
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Exposing the photographer was impossible, Matthew says. Ziff, of the Model Alliance, says she has heard about countless situations that mirrored Matthew's story.
Their age makes many models particularly vulnerable.
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If you know that you have a shelf life of maybe five years, you're much less likely to stick your neck out or complain, especially since it is so competitive. I have found it hard to stick to my decision to quit modeling. I still take jobs now and then. I miss the excitement.
Also, as a recent graduate, I could do with the cash. On certain jobs, I have been shocked by how young many of the models are. At my last show, the Andrea Crews collection shown in Paris in JanuaryI shared a cigarette with a boy backstage whose tousled hair, slender body, boyish features and full lips combined to make him look delicate and androgynous.
Critics and commentators have long criticized the use of very young male models in the fashion industry, but the current trend for models with boyish or androgynous looks has intensified that criticism.
The androgynous look pushes male models to lose muscle mass and women to lose their natural curves. One model, Jack-that's a pseudonym-says that has increased competition between men and women for the same shows. At Gucci's menswear show in Januaryfor example, boyish female models walked alongside waifish men. In stark contrast to the androgynous male models on the catwalks in Asia are the muscle-bound male models typified by the perfectly sculpted British model David Gandy.
But beneath those hypermuscular builds are often serious health problems. The pressure to lose weight is common among male models. In DecemberJack, who had trained as a dancer and had muscular legs, was told by his agents to lose 3 kilograms about 6. All the guilt, constantly-it was like pre-bulimia. Almost every one of the 15 insiders who agreed to speak to Newsweek said Saint Laurent's recently departed creative director, Hedi Slimane, spearheaded the rise of the ultra-skinny male model.
Karl Lagerfeld, creative director of Chanel and one of fashion's most powerful designers, wrote in The Telegraph in that "Slimane's fashions, modelled by very, very slim boys, required me to lose at least six of my 16 stone.
Slimane defended his preference for super skinny young men in an interview with Yahoo Style last year, explaining that he was bullied as a teenager for not having a traditionally masculine build: "I was precisely just like any of these guys I photograph or that walk my shows.
Jackets were always a little too big for me.
Many in high school, or in my family, were attempting to make me feel I was half a man because I was lean. For many fashion insiders, the reasons for his casting choices are hardly relevant; what matters is the impact Slimane had on models-and even men outside the fashion world.
My frustration grew as the months went on, and one day I confronted him.
He needed to keep our relationship on the down low so that no one would ever suspect that he enjoyed spending time with me a fat woman. When I realised that he was ashamed of being seen with me, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach - a place where much of my pain already resided.
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He did me a favour by not continuing to lead me on. Her words resonated with them, and they all shared the same truth.
Fat women are just as hot and sexually gifted as women of other shapes, sizes, and abilities. I regret not standing up for myself when I discovered that the athletic guy was only using me for sex.
This article by Christine Schoenwald originally appeared on Ravishly and has been republished with permission.
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